Growing Girls and Smelly Cows. Did I mention that my house is for sale?

As some of you know because I may have mentioned it (or not. I really can’t remember what I write and I don’t really care enough to read back through my stuff because I already read it once.) we are attempting to move.

To shake the monsoon dust off our boots and blow this dairy town (that is really funny because when the monsoons come in they blow up this gigantic wall of dust and so it is dusty. Also we live very close to Gilbert, AZ and no matter where you are in Gilbert you smell the sweet scent of cow manure blowing off the Dairy. I am so cleaver).

We now have our house on the market and I know that some of you are dying to see the type of squalor I’m living in (either that or you have seen it and are wondering if it is ever clean) so I snapped some photos for you. I might have to add a few on anoth blog post today. So, if you care, look for those. I am not a professional but you get the general idea. So if any of you know someone who is in need of a lovely domicile outside of Phoenix feel free to let me (or them) know.

Also my beautiful little bundle of baby girl joy has just hit her 4 month mark and some of you don’t care enough to come and see her in person so I will post some pictures of her. I should be mad at you for not being here but a baby this cute needs to be seen by everyone so they can awe at her loveliness and be sad that their babies aren’t quite up to snuff. (Too much again? Sorry, like I said, I do get a little passionate and tend to go overboard. But look at the pictures. Can you blame me?)

Peer Pressure and Self Loathing

Alright! Alright!!! I will update my blog. Please stop screaming at me. I am truly sorry that some of you actually have my home number. I am in the process of forming some new creative threads that, once spun, will astound and amaze you with my creative process and comical intellect but you have to give me a break. Twilight wasn’t written in a day.

Speaking of, I am ashamed to say that I have secum to the will of almost every LDS woman I have ever met and read the stupid books. I would have to say that I found then intense, fun, and tantalizing. Overall, I am ok with the way they progressed and I approve of them as a whole. I am however upset that the guy playing Edward in the movie has bushy eyebrows. I mean overly, amazingly bushy eyebrows to the point that I’m sure he is sporting some “product” in them. That is all I am going to say about that.

Also I have given up on my latest attempt to give up caffeine. It was really ridicules and pointless to try anyway. All I ended up doing was suffering through a pretty rough headache for 2 days and then going to Burger King and downing a 44 ouncer with my flame broiled Whopper. Sorry to disappoint those of you who had faith in me but I am only human. And anyway, most of you who would have had faith in me didn’t even know I was doing it because you have either refused to answer your cell phone or followed the rest of the traitors over to AT&T. I refuse to waste my precious minutes on you and your new plan. Verizon all the way baby!!!! Can You Hear Me Now? Good. Sorry, I do tend to get a little carried away from time to time. But what can I say? I am passionate!

Does your life have a soundtrack?

Sometimes I have these moments when I think (to myself because that is how I like to think and anyone around me might think I was crazy if I decided to share (which is what I am doing right now but since no one really reads this I think I am OK) but just to clarify, I am not really that crazy.) I could totally be in a movie or on TV. Not in general (although I feel I have definite potential buried below 50 lbs of motherhood) but at that (or this) exact moment. For instance, I could be completely frustrated with my kids, sitting at my table with my head in my hands (because on of them has spilled a 32 oz red Gatorade on my newly moped floor (just in case you didn’t understand my character’s motivation)) and I can picture a tight shot on my head with a slow zoom outward while I pull my hand back in slow motion with a look of defeat on my face ending with a slight head shake and my eyes turning upward (again, all in slow motion to add dramatic emphasis). Seriously, sometimes I can almost hear the background music.

It really is the music that makes the moment. Am I feeling defeated? Then the music should be I Tried So Hard by Bone Thugs and Harmony featuring Akon (minus the Black man part because I’m not). Am I feeling determined? Well then I would chose a little tune by Linkin Park called What I’ve Done (I would include the musical intro and the chorus). Is there a little hope and laughter to be found mixed into the situation then Mr. Rob Thomas is singing Little Things. The music really makes the moment more then the action, and I can truly almost hear it.

Recently though, my soundtrack has been a little less glamorous. In fact, it has become constant, noisy, background music (because my husband is deaf). It is Guitar Hero Legends of Rock. Not just one song but the entire limited collection. I get into the shower and hear Ruby. I lay down to take a nap and I hear My Name is Jonas. I yell at my kids and the Killers are right there playing When We Were Young. What is even sadder is the fact that I have caught myself taping out the finger positions. I really need to buy the Areosmith version so that I can add a little variety to my background ambiance because death-metal doesn’t add to the calming effect I am looking for. That seems to be The Story of My Life.

I just got a call from the school. It would appear that my 5 year old has vomited in the classroom and needs to be picked up and my 3 year old has made the baby cry. I defiantly hear Into the Fire and Flame and that is my que to get going before the stress causes a meltdown. I am going to get through this day if it kills me.

(Picture me pushing back from the computer, smacking the monitor power button and exiting the room determinedly to the tune of Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar). Pan back over to the computer. Fade to Black.)

It really is Half Full. ( All the Glasses. Get it?)

Some of us have perfect vision (or don't know our numbers or letters so we couldn't be tested and are super sad about it).....

...And Then there are the rest of us.

Finally, It has arrived!!!!!

I do so love the first day of school!!!!






























Lou gets 2 because it really was her very first day of school (not because I'm playing favorites).

The Frock You (or White Coat) Ceremony

Lou - The Toothless Wonder