Looking For A Comfy Corner of the Loony Bin (and maybe a some cute Scrapbook page ideas)

I think that it is well established that I have a few problems. No your normal run of the mill everyday problems (I mean I have quite a few of those as well but that is not the type I am talking about) but real deep seeded emotional/psychological problems. Those of you that know me are thinking, “Well Katy we have known that for a while now. What’s your point?” But I think that I could surprise even some of you die hard Katy supporters.

For starters, I just re-realized that I have a very addictive personality. I’m not into drugs and alcohol but it is evident in other areas of my mundane life. I have a Tivo with 165 hours of memory and I spent an hour this morning deciding what must see program I could sacrifice to record Diego for my 3 year old so that he would get in the bath without a screaming fight. I have 165 hours of shows, some of which have been recorded since July and are still waiting to be viewed, and I couldn’t find one program that I was willing to delete for my baby. In the end I busted out the VCR (Do any of you remember what those are?). We are not even 2 weeks into the prime time premiers and I have a solid weekend of nonstop TV to watch so that I have room without a panic attack. I really believe that my life might implode if I miss even one episode of the Biggest Loser (Save your comments). I know that most networks put episodes online so I can watch them there but not The Biggest Loser and when you have repressed fears about being a super fat person trapped in a chubby lady’s body, it is dangerous to miss even one minute (It could push me from chubby to tubby and I can’t go there right now. I just bought a new pair of jeans). Another example issue is that I have managed to fill up half of my new external hard drive (250Gigs filled) with digital scrapbooking kits. I just keep downloading and downloading. I can’t even stop myself. Don’t get me wrong, I have made quite a few really nice pages, but 12 or 15 cute pages doesn’t require 250 G (or GB. I hope that most of you understand that to mean Gigabytes) of crap. I am not exactly sure how much crap that is because I don’t really know a ton about computer and electronic information measurements of volume but, from the way my husband reprimands me, it must be a ton of junk.

I am also pretty sure that I have OCD. Not a ton, just a little. If you have ever watched me fold my laundry you will understand this claim. I am the type of enterprising person that sells things on eBay to earn a little extra money (that is not the problem). What makes me crazy is that once I have it listed, I sit and watch it for hours knowing, in my brain, that nothing is going to happen. I don’t limit my obsessive watching to the last few minutes of the auction either. I start at the beginning (darn those visit counters. Notice I put one on my blog. I am a glutton for punishment). Some of you might not think that this is crazy but it has spread. I am in the process of selling my house right now. Yesterday we had a couple come and look at it. I left the house to make them more comfortable to take their time. I had a ton of errands to run and not enough time to get it all done so you would think that I was off doing that. No. We crazies sit in our cars parked up the street so that we can get a look at the strangers walking through our houses and see how long they stay (a nice looking older couple in an Audi with Idaho plates that stayed for 30 minutes). Yes, I sat there for 30 minutes watching (thank goodness for DVD players in cars). What is wrong with me? Not that it all has to do with crazy non-stalking that looks like creepy weird stalking. I also cannot relax when I know that every light and fan in my house is on. I once tried to leave and not worry but I had to drive the 15 minutes back to my house to turn everything off and then go back 15 minutes to the store (I am counting the time it takes to get my kids in and out of the car and then stop for a big gulp to calm my nerves). It is just another something that us crazies do.

My current living situation has just managed to exacerbate my issues. I can already feel the building anxiety that I have let my pantry and freezer get so low. Just writing about it makes me fidgety.

Deep Breath. Deep Breath.

I hope that this has not scared any of you off. I am a good person but even good people are crazy (I know most of you so don’t even bother denying it). All I know is that the nutty need to stick together (I am in no way intending to offend those with peanut allergies.) if we want to survive.

Have a nice day.